bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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