Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
