Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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