They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
