Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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