I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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