There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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