I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
my sisters under your porch take her home
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
