I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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