i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
