Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
