Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
