you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
