Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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