im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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