Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Randomize