I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
