"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
