do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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