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I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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