This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Randomize
