He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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