dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
