so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
My vagina just clenched in fear
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
