You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
we have officially lost it.
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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