I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
my poor anus
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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