Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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