you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
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Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
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I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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