i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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