did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
