Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize