I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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