Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize
