Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
