she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
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