No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
