shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
