Texts From Last Night

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  (410): View more from Maryland

  She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."

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  (410): She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing." http://tfl.nu/ngah
  Replies (36) Good night (771) Bad night (5921)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  Vodka is such a love hate relationship.

  (661): View more from California

  Truer words have never been spoken.

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  (260): Vodka is such a love hate relationship. (661): Truer words have never been spoken. http://tfl.nu/p042
  Replies (21) Good night (5299) Bad night (1156)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.

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  (814): I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was. http://tfl.nu/qrct
  Replies (39) Good night (1823) Bad night (5407)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.

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  (303): One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud. http://tfl.nu/mlmc
  Replies (20) Good night (9012) Bad night (1425)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation

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  (352): Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation http://tfl.nu/era3
  Replies (4) Good night (3054) Bad night (801)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.

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  (570): knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that. http://tfl.nu/tu47
  Replies (6) Good night (1558) Bad night (1174)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.

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  (304): They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post. http://tfl.nu/qpv3
  Replies (4) Good night (1857) Bad night (1353)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...

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  (262): By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire... http://tfl.nu/1iat
  Replies (5) Good night (1552) Bad night (706)
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  (845): View more from New York

  if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party

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  (845): if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party http://tfl.nu/vtss
  Replies (8) Good night (3892) Bad night (676)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.

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  (651): well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well. http://tfl.nu/icbo
  Replies (1) Good night (406) Bad night (960)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time

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  (403): I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time http://tfl.nu/5di6
  Replies (5) Good night (560) Bad night (394)
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  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work

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  (787): I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work http://tfl.nu/djbl
  Replies (1) Good night (615) Bad night (317)
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  (310): View more from California

  I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.

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  (310): I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there. http://tfl.nu/gafs
  Replies (3) Good night (920) Bad night (335)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?

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  (479): Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday? http://tfl.nu/k0ma
  Replies (8) Good night (574) Bad night (281)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  No worries I have vodka. Its always on time

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  (541): No worries I have vodka. Its always on time http://tfl.nu/sdpy
  Replies (0) Good night (521) Bad night (196)

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