bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
29 Super Simple DIY Drinking Games
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.