A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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