Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.

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(423): View more from Tennessee

I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk

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(206): View more from Washington

I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.

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(971): View more from Oregon

:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"

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These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Read it at the TFLN blog
(336): View more from North Carolina

He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2

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(513): View more from Ohio

Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.

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(209): View more from California

I will pee on everything he values.

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(805): View more from California

you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends

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(309): View more from Illinois

You don't know the capacity of my vagina

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