I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
27 Times The Kardashian-Jenner Clan Absolutely Slayed at NYFW
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
19 Doctors Confess The Most Difficult Situation They’ve Ever Had To Face
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!