Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
