Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize