Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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