New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
