yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
