low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
