She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
