So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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