so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
