my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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