I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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