Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
