Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
and you fell through a lawn chair
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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