I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
