HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I cut my penus on the lid.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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