I hate all girls vehemently.
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
