I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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