Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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