I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
