So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I just googled if crying burns calories
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
