so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
